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Reflections on BEing an Empress with Chiron in Taurus

It’s almost here…my Chiron return. I have been reading about and “preparing” for this time for the last 4-5 years (and much more intensely after connecting with The Hungry Medium bka The Chironista. Does that mean I’m ready? Honestly, who the fuck knows. LOL.

What I do know is that I have already been feeling the energy for a long time. That’s the thing with astrological transits. As the energy approaches (meaning the exact degrees of the aspect - conjunction, square, opposition, trine, etc.), it intensifies. By the time it actually happens it’s not as intense. Barbara Hand Clow in her book, Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner and Outer Planets, says (and I paraphrase) that our return starts to percolate when we have our Uranus opposition. It’s like the marker that sets things in motion. How befitting that the planet of chaos, the unexpected and change comes into check out how we’ve been doing with our Chiron wound.

If we have been sitting and allowing that wound to fester, Uranus is gonna make it clear as day what isn’t working by removing all of the failsafes we have in place to avoid dealing. The thing about me, I love change. That is, I love change that I put in place, by my own choosing AND when, where and how I want it. (If you don’t know me, I have a very fixed chart in tropical astrology). So at the time of my Uranus opposition, I decided it was time to leave my job - my source of security - to embark on the adventure of being a consultant in DEAI (you may know it as DEI, IDEA, JEDI and so many other variations). I also planned to begin my full-fledged business, making and designing beaded jewelry (which I had done for over 20 years but not as a solopreneur). It was great! And exciting and new! I felt hopeful and motivated to put all of my energy into making my own business work. I still had a small nest egg to help support me until things began to pick up so I felt ready to charge ahead.

Things were progressing well, orders were coming in (slowly but coming in). I even had some great opportunities consulting. And then Uranus, which was making its transit through Taurus, really kicked into gear. I neglected to mention that my natal Uranus is at the early degrees of Scorpio. (it’s a generational planet so a lot of us Chiron in Taurus babies have Uranus in Scorpio.) As it moved further into Taurus, it began to create a grand cross aspect to all of my fixed placements namely my MC, IC, AC and DC. (for you astro newbies, hang in there). It began to do what Uranus does - unravel everything I knew about my work/reputation, my home and family life, my relationships/partnerships, and my identity/who I thought I was. Though it happened slowly, as everything Taurus related does, I basically began to have a 4-year existential crisis.

Rejection is Protection

Thankfully, everything didn’t break down at once but, oh did things break down. The DEI field imploded (because colonialism continues to subsist). My trickle of clients began to dry up. In a world where social media was considered a huge part of the success of a business, I began to feel the fakeness of posting and having to market myself. To the point where I no longer felt motivated or hopeful or anything. My last role didn’t renew my contract and despite my attempts to find a new buffer to help me pay my bills and keep my business going, nothing worked. I was forced to stop.

Breakdown to break through…

Uranus uprooted everything that could no longer continue. Does that mean I was I living a lie? Yes and no. I began to explore further how as a Gen Xer, I had been bamboozled into believing my worth and value was tied to how productive I was. It began to affect my financial stability and test how safe I felt in my own body.

This in itself is part of the Chiron in Taurus wound as well as low vibrational Taurus. When I could no longer produce, I felt lost, purposeless and depressed, mainly because not only was the way I was taught to survive (key word) a lie, the universe - through voices like The Nap Ministry’s Rest Is Resistance - was telling me that it was also against who I innately needed to BE. I no longer knew how to function. It felt like I lost my mojo because the focus moved from purely mental (the way I had learned to be successful) to needing to be embodied. WTF? We are now talking about feelings and not just what I THINK I’m feeling but actually listening to my body’s cues about how I’m feeling. The challenges I’ve had with receiving (help, love, support) started showing up and can be tied back to this learned sense of false self-sufficiency. I have had to go into the Underworld, the shadow realm, to find out how I have been operating in a way that keeps my value tied to anything other than BEing a child of GOD! The Empress card kept showing up because I needed to lean into her energy big time.

So where is the gift?

Chiron, the wounded healer, wasn’t just wounded. In mythology, he is the healer, the teacher, the master who became wounded. This placement in our chart carries more than a wound; it also is the key to our gifts. For me, the wound has been made abundantly clear - anything that isn’t in alignment with high vibrational Taurus energy needed to be unearthed, literally and figuratively. I had to lean into the gift of earth medicine. Here is what has helped (continues to help) me get through, in no particular order:

• I supported myself using plant medicines (in the form of teas, tinctures, smoke blends).

• I found support through microdosing and I went on my first macro journey.

• Music has been my bestest and longest friend and I used sound healing through sound bowls and the genius of other musicians.

• Began following the Venus cycle (whew, more on this later)

• Sharing and learning through a Chiron in Taurus support group

• Somatic support through yoga, breathwork, meditation

• Really listening to my body for the cues, clues and messages

• Ancestor veneration

• and more shared in my video below with Rooted Radiance Rising

In this time of divinely forced stillness (being stubborn means it had to be forced, lol), the last three years have been made bearable because, not only was I given support in the form of sistas who really get me 🌺, I have been given the opportunity to rest and BE, mostly in isolation.

As the equinox approaches and the astrological year begins again, I am grateful to have had this time to reflect. I’m still a work in progress (and if I wasn’t, my learning this lifetime would be through 💀). Though the wound still exists, I’m ready to re-emerge and share what I’ve learned.